Drop your trousers Laundrette

Posted: 8th January 2016 by Absurd Stories in Facebook

This is the cheeky launderette sign that has got the internet in stitches. In a bid to lure in customers Clean World has come up with an amusing legend for its window. The sign in the Lewisham laundrette reads: “Ladies and Gentlemen, drop your trousers here for best results.” Local resident Learco Fermi uploaded the amusing pic to Facebook under the title: “Knocking shops are getting very brazen with their advertising.” It has caused considerable online chuckling. One user commented: “Whey hey, I’m game!” Learco Fermi‎ /Facebook

drop your trousersD

Shop: The sign has caused much amusement on Facebook Another said: “Knocking shops…. you sound like my nan.” To which Mr Fermi replied: “Had to keep it above the belt…Unlike this shop.” And one user appreciated the equality of the sign. “Like that it’s inclusive” she said. The pictures comes after three dim-witted burglars were jailed after talking about their crimes on Facebook . Dozy Wayne Grant, Terry Day, and Robert Johnston used the social networking site to discuss robbing houses and items they had stolen. The trio appeared in court where they admitted breaking into a house while the owners slept and stealing a car, two iPads, a watch and a handbag.

Did Adolf Hitler fake his own death?

Posted: 8th January 2016 by Absurd Stories in People

Adolf Hitler faked his death then fled to Tenerife CIA veteran claims
Adolf Hitler faked his death then fled to Tenerife CIA veteran claims
Adolf Hitler faked his death then fled to Tenerife CIA veteran claims
A veteran CIA agent claims to have proof Hitler faked his own death in his bunker at the end of the Second World War. The team have used a collection of never-before-seen documents to develop the theory that Hitler did not actually kill himself and instead fled to the Canary Islands. Veteran CIA agent Bob Baer said: “The narrative the government gives us is a lie. if you look at the FBI files it throws open the investigation. “What we are doing is re-examining history, history that we thought was settled that Hitler died in the bunker but the deeper we get into it, it’s clear to me we don’t have any facts for it.” Read more : French role in Nazi Holocaust revealed in official papers kept secret for 75 years Mr Baer’s team have access to 700 pages of newly declassified information. One document states: “American Army officials in Germany have not located Hitler’s body nor is there any reliable source that Hitler is dead.” Getty Appearance The team believe German dictator Adolf Hitler faked his own death The team claim Hitler ‘easily’ faked his own death through the use of a double, as the corpse found by Russians was said to be five inches shorter than Hitler and with a smaller skull. In a series on The History Channel, Ex-United Nations war crimes investigator John Cencich interviews an alleged witness to Hitler’s escape. Read more:’Nazi’ thugs shout “Hitler is on his way” and throw gas canisters at Jewish shoppers in ‘anti-Semitic attack’ The Greek former construction worker tells Mr Cencich: “In 1945 I was building a secret construction inside the monastery in Samos.” New evidence: John Cencich believes Hitler faked his own death “I had to build secret tunnels and compartments for Germans”, he continued. “Yes, the Germans were Nazis and one of these guys was Adolf Hitler. “He was right there, he wasn’t wearing a moustache or anything. this was May 1945. I realised it was really Hitler because of the airplane. “I went to work in another town. The first thing I saw in this town was a German airplane. It had landed in an old potato field. the farmer told me there were five people who landed, they were German.” New information: The FBI report on Hitler’s flight to South America from the Canaries Mr Cencich said: “The accepted truth that he committed suicide is ambiguous.” When the war came to an end many Nazis made an exodus to South America to begin a new life away from Europe. It is claimed Hitler traveled by U-Boat to Argentina from the Canary Islands to be reunited with his comrades.

A slice of pizza every day for a year

Posted: 8th January 2016 by Absurd Stories in Food

This man challenged himself to eat a slice of pizza every day for a year
This man challenged himself to eat a slice of pizza every day for a year
This man challenged himself to eat a slice of pizza every day for a year
This man challenged himself to eat a slice of pizza every day for a year
This man challenged himself to eat a slice of pizza every day for a year
This man set himself a New Year’s Resolution to eat pizza every single day for a year. Kyle Feeney started the challenge in January 2015 and recorded himself tucking into a slice every 24 hours – before uploading the results on his Instagram page. Fortunately for Kyle, his love for pizza knows no bounds, and amazingly he didn’t get sick of the tomato and cheese snack, despite eating a whopping 365 slices. Instagram / team_pizza_365

Impression: Kyle pretends to feature in a Justin Bieber music video – with pizza, of course Kyle told Business Insider: “Every time I would come visit [New York City] I would end up eating pizza like three or four times over the weekend. “One thing led to another and the ‘pizzagram’ was born.” Instagram / team_pizza_365

Yummy: Kyle tucks into his cheese and tomato slice Kyle then decided he wanted to raise money while completing his year-long pizza challenge and chose Autism Speaks as his charity of choice. Read more: New York restaurant unveils pizza with ultimate topping – more pizza Amazingly, Kyle raised a whopping $10000, (£6800), in donations on his Go Fund Me page during the year. This man ate a slice of pizza every day for a year

Shower time: Who doesn’t enjoy a snack while taking a wash? He then celebrated his rather bizarre achievement by heading to a tattoo parlour to get a tiny, cartoon pizza inked on his bum. Each day, Kyle came up with a new, creative way to showcase his pizza eating habits, from mimicking the Drake Hotline Bling video to pretending he was in a Justin Bieber underwear ad. Instagram / team_pizza_365

Thumbs up: Kyle successfully completed the year-long challenge And while the results are hilarious, Kyle admitted that he almost gave up midway through the year after he struggled to think of new videos to post on the social media site. But after some stern words from his mother, Kyle managed to complete the challenge as he intended, and ate his last piece of pizza while being showered in copious amounts of champagne. Instagram / team_pizza_365

Celebration: Kyle is sprayed with champagne as he enjoys his final slice Kyle also revealed that he had put on “a couple of pounds” during the year and intends to start exercising again in 2016. Read more: Russian man ‘marries’ a pizza because love between humans is ‘too complicated’ He said: “I suppose it’s the Year of Fitness. Pizza kind of took over the whole working out thing the last six or so months of the year. Maybe by 2017, I’ll be jacked. Who knows?”

The best chocolate bar in the world

Posted: 8th January 2016 by Absurd Stories in Food

Simple lifehack to make the best chocolate bar in the world
A simple yet quite frankly mind-blowing chocolate mash-up is blowing chocoholic’s minds on the internet. British author/snack genius James Hannah tweeted a photograph of a Toblerone enhanced with segments of Terry’s Chocolate Orange wedged between each sweet pyramid. The writer of ‘The A–Z of You and Me’ simply captioned the picture ‘Toblorange’ and suddenly bored and sweet-toothed admirers were creating their own versions and posting the results online. But rather than exploit his creation for commercial game, the big-hearted wordsmith waived his copyright fee (with tongue firmly in cheek) because it is “the morally right thing to do”. #toblorange pic.twitter.com/DiMUqVrBuP— James Hannah. (@jameshannah) January 2, 2016 And get this: I am waiving my copyright fee for your own Toblorange. You may recreate it free of charge. It’s morally the right thing to do.— James Hannah. (@jameshannah) January 2, 2016 His creation ever earned the respect of the people at Toblerone, who told him: “Better retire now, you’ve peaked.” He responded: “I’m furiously mashing together other confections as we speak in the hope of recovering the good times… # onetrickpony.” Lunchtime productivity: we’ve stopped watching the puddle to make a Toblorange. pic.twitter.com/4O9crUncCk— Catherine Bray (@catherinebray) January 6, 2016 Click to play

Tree Counting conundrum goes viral – Answers

Posted: 1st January 2016 by Absurd Stories in Facebook
Tags: ,

How many faces can you see in this tree Counting conundrum goes viral
How many faces can you see in this tree Counting conundrum goes viral
Brain teaser: There are some obvious ones, but the puzzle gets harder and harder A puzzle purporting to have hidden faces in the drawing of a tree has gone viral – and it’s a really tough one. As the early hours of 2016 melt away, Facebookers have been sharing the image millions of times, with everyone desperate to find the answer. In the drawing, the branches and trunk of the tree work together to form the outline of men’s and women’s faces. The image, called the National Leaders Tree, shows obvious faces such as Margaret Thatcher and Mikhail Gorbachev, but it does get harder. Read more: This mind-boggling optical illusion turns demonic face into beautiful woman – can you see her? There are rumours that there are 10 faces in all, but it’s unclear if anyone has found them all yet. Scroll down for the answer. One of last year’s popular optical illusions was the dress – some thought it was blue and black and others thought it was white and gold. It’s been online in some form or another for at least five years, but could how many faces be the next big puzzle again? Or perhaps one of these might win. (function(d, s, id) fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = “//connect.facebook.net/en_GB/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’));How many faces do you see?Posted by Codeblack Life on Monday, 16 June 2014 Rt if you can read this! pic.twitter.com/YOH6PcL8aF— Optical Illusions (@illusions_optcl) January 22, 2014 Rt if it works pic.twitter.com/IFgAVEsBIJ— Optical Illusions (@illusions_optcl) August 15, 2013 pic.twitter.com/4DxIyyBolc— Optical Illusions (@illusions_optcl) August 4, 2013 Rt if you know where it is! pic.twitter.com/VmLDnnSkSV— Optical Illusions (@illusions_optcl) August 2, 2013 Here is the answer: Puzzle pooper: And here is the answer… Did you get them all? … Click to play

Blind mystic whose followers claim she predicted 9/11 attack, ISIS and 2004 tsunami has chilling vision for 2016
She’s the blind Bulgarian mystic whose followers claim she predicted 9/11, the rise of Islamic State and the 2004 tsunami. And now Baba Vanga’s chilling vision for 2016 is being revealed. Previously, it is claimed she predicted 9/11 before dying in 1996. She said: “Horror! Horror! The American brethren will fall after being attacked by the steel birds.” It is also claimed by her followers that she predicted the rise of ISIS, after predicting a “great Muslim war”. Click to play Reuters

9/11: The followers of a blind mystic believe she predicted the shocking 2001 attack And now it has been revealed that, before her death at age 85 she predicted “a 2016 invasion by Muslim extremists” across Europe. Read more: So what else did Baba Vanga predict? The other chilling prophecies of the blind Bulgarian mystic Vanga said that by the end of the year the continent would “cease to exist”. More specifically, she said: “[Extremists] would use chemical warfare against Europeans.” Alamy

ISIS: Islamic State monsters have wreaked havoc across the Middle East Dubbed the Nostradamus of the Balkans by her fans, the mystic also warned of climate change and the polar ice caps melting as far back as the 1950s, it is claimed. Read more: Watch Barack Obama ISIS rant by Fox News analyst who calls president a ‘p***y’ And her followers believe she predicted the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami after warning of a “huge wave” that would descend on a “big coast, covering people and towns and [causing] everything to disappear under the water”. News service A survivor looks at the pictures displayed on a board identifying her relatives killed by the tsunami Baba Vanga’s prophecies which ‘came true’ Global warming and the 2004 Tsunami : Predicted in the 1950s, the mystic reportedly claimed “cold regions will become warm … and volcanoes will awaken”. She also allegedly warned of a “huge wave” which would “cover a big coast covered with people and towns, and everything will disappear beneath the water.” 9/11 Twin Towers terror attack : In 1989, Vanga reportedly warned the ‘American brethren’ would be attacked by “two steel birds”. Some believe she was referencing two hijacked planes crashing into the World Trade Center. Election of Barack Obama : The Bulgarian is credited with predicting that the 44th president of the United States would be African American. She also reportedly warned that he would be the “last US president”.

These two child-like drawings have sold for £16,000 and this is why
These two child-like drawings have sold for £16,000 and this is why
With their crude cartoon-like style in rough Biro, little about these two drawings would lead you to believe they’re worth a whopping £16250., But that’s what they’ve just sold for – and all because they were created by the magical pen of renowned British artist LS Lowry . Looking at the works, they could easily be mistaken for the work of an eight-year-old rather than a revered painter. But it’s thanks to that fact that they are clearly signed and dated with his initials of ‘LSL’ that they are worth thousands of pounds. The drawings are just two of ten works on paper by Lowry which fetched £177375, at a Bonhams auction on Wednesday. Read more: L.S. Lowry’s 125th Birthday: Artist celebrated with Google doodle Two simplistic sketches of country landscapes, which show little more than vague outlines, sold for £8125, and £9375., And a typical urban image that is instantly recognisable as Lowry, called Factory Gate, went for £80500., The piece had not been seen in public since it was created in the 1950s. BNPS

Matchless works: British artist LS Lowry was renowned for his simplistic drawings Lowry was famous for painting urban landscapes with ‘matchstick men’ in the industrial districts of North West England. His work has sometimes been characterised as a naive ‘Sunday painter’ – but it continues to be desirable among collectors and can sell for millions of pounds. Matthew Bradbury from auctioneers Bonhams, said: “The two Biro works are very spontaneous sketches, which were done in 1973, three years before he died. “They’re very commercial doodles. A lot of these sort of drawings he just did on the spur of the moment and gifted to people he knew. They weren’t made for exhibitions or sale. BNPS

Art attack: The Biro doodles have sold for a whopping £16250, at auction “He was certainly a lot more generous than most artists in terms of gifting artworks, it wasn’t unusual for him to even gift oil paintings to people he was close to. “Lowry had a rather cheeky sense of humour that came across in some of his sketches, he often included dogs and cats. “Later on in his career in the 1970s this type of work became more prevalent. “They certainly show another side of his personality that’s not written about a great deal. “Drawings are seen as works in their own right. They are a good way to start collecting his work, he’s such an iconic name.” Lowry died of pneumonia in 1976, aged 88, but unseen works are still being discovered from private collections.