Can People Really be this Dumb

Posted: 6th June 2010 by Absurd Stories in Law

Just had to pass these on. They are from a book “Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History” and are genuine exchanges that have taken place in US courtrooms …

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

That’s just a few of them! This got me thinking, are there any other books out there on this … yep! From Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court (1995) …

Q. So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A. I didn’t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q. It was covered?
A. Yes, bandaged.
Q. Then, later on.. what did you see?
A. I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
A. I could see his head.
Q. And where was his head?
A. Just above his shoulders.
Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn’t it. You too were shot in the fracas?
A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

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